What does having a glass of wine and weighing yourself have in common?

I stood staring at the scale on the bathroom floor and wondered, "Should I?" 

Then I quickly recognised that old neural pathway- just like the one that used to shout, "That drink looks good" and swiftly grabbed the hotel room key and headed for the pool. 

"That was odd," I thought to myself. 

I hadn't thought about doing that in a while. 

I started to think about all the similarities that looking at that number on the scale and having a glass of wine had in common. 

Here's what I came up with:

1. Both hopping on the scale and having a drink was to feel a particular feeling. 

When it came to the scale, it was for the feeling of success, to pat myself on the back for not eating enough the day before OR to shame myself into eating less the next day because I had failed.

With the booze, it was also for a feeling. To get happy, to cope with sadness, to feel something different.  

2. It was never enough. 

If the scale number returned to 110, I thought, "I can do 105." 

If I had two drinks.... well, you know how that goes. 

Neither amount ever good enough. 

3 .Both brought a mountain of shame with them. 

With the scale, it was "I was never thin enough." With the alcohol, it was "Why can't you do better at moderating?" 

Both messages were the same; I wasn't ever enough. Good enough, thin enough, smart enough to outsmart an addictive drug. 

The more I thought about the similarities, the more I realised it was no wonder that body image keeps coming up with my beautiful clients when we're talking about reducing alcohol intake. 

The "why" we do it is the same. 

It's never enough. / It makes us feel like we aren't enough. 

And then shame storm. 

Can you relate?